What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
