Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
