u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
