Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
