shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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