How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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