I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
