How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
