Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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