so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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