i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
