WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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