i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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