I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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