69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
