guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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