I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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