oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
