dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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