3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
