How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
