Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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