look no pants
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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