whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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