I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You're like the curious george of whores
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
