Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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