You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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