Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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