The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
