One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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