The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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