Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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