He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
