I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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