i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
