My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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