C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
