just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
The beer is more important than you right now.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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