he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
