So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just found puke in my bra..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
