Your face is a jimmy john
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
