Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
