The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
