is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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