The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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