Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
