Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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