I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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