Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
