I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
cat food counts as protein by the way
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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