You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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