If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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