As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Houston, we have a blender
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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