We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize