Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
