I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
