He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Randomize
