you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
