I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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