I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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