there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
operation have a gay friend backfired
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
