this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
