He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
