hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
