and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
