Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
