She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
vagina is talking i cant
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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