capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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