i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
