So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
