What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
